Evil Plan of Evil

One of my not-so-secret fantasies is to take over the world from an underwater super-Volcano protected by hyper-intelligent sharks and anthropomorphic vegetables. If am successful, this is my Evil Plan of Evil (so far):-

1. Ban Saturday’s, have this mysterious thing called a ‘weekend’ start on a Wednesday.

2. Coffee shops to be replaced with tea houses where you can get a proper cup of tea and scones.

3. The making of portmanteaus will be outlawed, anyone flouting said law will be impaled on a umbrella.

4. The tax man will send out non-confusing letters that explain in simple terms what the fuck they are talking about. None of this K, L, or whatever code bullshit. Plain and simple “we owe you money” / “you owe us money” / “you are a rich fucker so we’re taking 40% of your wages” etc…


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