My Campaign for Benevolent Dictator

I’d like to throw my hat into the ring and launch my campaign for dictator.

These are my initial policies:

1) Those with large amounts of money will cook three times a week for those with no money. They will prepare a range of sustainable meals that are freezable and easily reheated.

2) Lonely elderly people to look after the children of single parents so that these parents are able to work part-time/seek educational opportunities. In return, the single parents will spend one day a week with the elderly person

3) The Queen downsized to a house more suitable to her needs. She’ll be allowed to keep a personal staff paid for out of the royal purse. The same goes for Charles & Camilla and William & Kate. Buckingham Palace will be given to the National Trust.

4) Anyone who hurts a child, an animal or the vulnerable will have the same thing done to them.

5) Education will be freely available.

6) The disabled treated will respect and dignity. Those who are able to work will be found suitable jobs, those who are not able to work will be given help & support.

7) The church is not allowed to make a profit, they must use their fundraising and charity status to help people. All people, they can’t turn anyone away because of religious belief. Religion will not be a tool of oppression in my dictatorship. Any profitable enterprise the church is involved in will go directly to the state.

8) Racists, homophobes and other such people will be subject to re-education. There is no room for discrimination in any world.

9) The unemployed to find work and help will be given to help them, such as lonely elderly people assisting with child care or retired people helping them get into a suitable work/home routine.

10) All profits  absorbed back into transport companies to improve transport and cut costs. There will be an end of rewarding board members with large bonuses or paying company chairman ridiculous amounts of money. The same applies to all utilities.

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6 comments

  1. Paul Fernandez

    Lots of interesting ideas. Out of interest, where do you get the idea that the church makes a profit?! And if it makes a profit, where do you think it goes? And by “church” do you mean … church of England? All organised religion?

    • celestialteapot

      all organised religions. I’ve always figured churches were making money somewhere. I tried to google it earlier but none of the churches reveal their finances but it’s estimated one of the big American churches made a couple of billion and I wouldn’t be surprised of the CofE makes a couple of million a year. There’s a (I’d call it a cult, but it’s not) church group called ‘Hillsong’ who say that something like 25% of your wages should go to the church and they’re a mega-mega rich organisation.

      • Paul Fernandez

        Okay….. this is a very complicated issue. The first thing is that charities don’t make profits. A profit is something a company makes, and then basically divides amongst share holders. It’s the difference between the cost of doing what it does and the income it gets. Organised religions (and, for that matter, political parties, schools, and “charities”) are charities. They might bring in more money than they spend each year – but it’s not “profit” – all charities (religions included) then use that money to advance the aims of the charity – that is, do more stuff. They ask for money so they can do more of what they are supposed to do. That’s not profit, because they aren’t “selling” something which costs them a certain amount to make – so they can’t “increase their profit” by “putting up prices”.

        Now, I have some problems with this, in the context of organised religion, and particularly christianity. I don’t think it’s the job of the “church” to spend money on flashy buildings, to overpay employees or buy them prestige cars. On the other hand, it does make sense for a church to have a building in which it can serve the community effectively. My church has one of the few effective youth groups in town, it also has a social club for retirees, and a popular toddler group. Like lots of other churches at the moment, it is getting involved in a local food bank, including having storage facilities and admin support staff for it. All of this is done on a voluntary basis – the people doing it aren’t paid for this work. And the facilities that they take place in are owned and maintained by the church membership from the money they contribute. No money comes in from the public, no money comes in from the government. We also employ 2.5 people here and support the employment of several other people in other places in the world. All of this is from money that the members give.

        So where’s the “profit”? What bit of the money that we as church members give from our own income should be taken away from the church?

  2. Paul Fernandez

    Also, do you not think there is a contradiction between the two sentences in suggestion 8 – “racists and homophobes” …”there is no room for discrimination”? You are discriminating against their stupid ideas, no? But that’s still discrimination …

    • celestialteapot

      Well technically yes, but I’d argue that discriminating against racists & homophobes hurts very few whereas the views of the racists & homophobes have a much greater impact. Plus, once they’ve been re-educated they won’t be racists & homophobes 😛

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